hurts

hey this time its not my heart that hurts , hahah ! .
its my fingers . I played my guitar for about 3 hours straight . haha gila kan . sumpah best gilaa , dah lame tak maen gitar oh . ni dah repair , software dah ade ape sume . training la puas puas , tade orang nak marah pon . hahah yang marah ade laa , my mum -_______-
which is , she kept saying that . HEY SLOW DOWN A BIT , LATER THE NEIGHBORS COME AND COMPLAIN . hahaha funny . but then seriously my left fingers are hurts , i mean the tip of it kinda harden abit but thats good because guitarist are supposed to be like that . hahaha crappp :)  . anyway i tried to play a song from Plain white t's which is hey there delilah but its kinda hard and complicated . and then i moved to the other song which is enrique iglesias hero . HAHA now thats better , but still i kinda lost at the strumming part . they go like up up down up down up up whatever shits it is . hahaha esok training lagi sampai lebam . weeeeeeeee ;)

This is the song that im listening to right now ;D . 

Its from POD - Will You .

See you sittin' next to the window in the bedroom
She breaks down - breaks down
Crying over something and starin' into nothin'
Afraid now - hate now
Wanting, needing, haunting, it's killing me
Faking what has happened to live the life like that man
I'll break down - It's fake now

Will you, will you love me tomorrow?
So Will You, Will you stay with me today?

Fade in and out of reason to fight the way she's feelin'
She breaks down - breaks down
Going through the motions and holding onto hopes
and her dreams now - somehow
Shaken, mistaken, forsaken, it's killing me.
Wishing you could change, but he's always been this way
If you leave now - I'll drown

Will you, will you love me tomorrow?
So Will You, Will you stay with me today?
Will you, will you be here tomorrow?
So Will You, you remember yesterday?

Yesterday! Yesterday!
Yesterday! Yesterday!

This time, I'm sorry
This time, I'm sorry
This time, this time, I'm sorry for this time
This time, this time, I'm sorry
This time I'm sorry!

Will you, Will you love me tomorrow?
So Will You, Will you stay with me today?
Will you, Will you be here tomorrow?
So Will You, you remember yesterday?

Will you? [x6]
So Will You?
Will you? [x6]

Tired and Fun

hey , well i just got back from catering work just now . phew , damn im so tired . i cant even lift my leg . hahaha . 
so today were the big day after we spent our 8 hours yesterday for setting up the hall for today , and it went so well as i expected but there's lack of workers . haih , bengang weh . siot dahla penat gila kene lari sane lari sini , angkat tu angkat ni , refill tu refill ni . clear table ape sume . 800 guest kot , memang penat ah . 
so there's five of us , me hafizi jabbar hajar and azureen . we went there by car , nasib baik fizi bawak kete . boleh balik awal . hahhaah ! .
so after work we went to sunway piramid because hajar wanna buy a handbag that her brother as her to . we had a lot fun . actually , today was a blast . im hoping that we can do this again . so im tired now and my eyes cant barely open already . haha and yeah i'll better go now before i make my lappy my pillow . HAHA ! .
see yaa !

the simple truth

well , i guess i just cant deny that the truth hurts .
but hey what can we do ? , its just a circle of life .
humans make mistakes and learn to make future better .
and yeah , i do makes mistakes and yet im not sure what i learn but soon i'll find out about it ;) .
the thing is , truth does hurts . but it will fade . dont worry about it , im still young :D
there you go Ahmad Shakir :)
so yeah , i just got back from some work and hell yeah its tiring . esok ade lagi -_____-
and jabbar lost his wallet at kfc just in the corner of my house . feel sorry for him . oh well , dah ilang kan nak buat mcm mana .

and there to You , if you're reading this . I am really sorry . I wish you good luck and hope there will be a great future ahead for You :D . 







and one more before i forget , dont stop crappin' around okay . Its just so lively,funny and it makes you become you. Im sure im gonna miss that crap of yours :D   (well im reading it on my myspace page , wayy back on my comment list . haha ) 


so im going offline now , im tired and sleepy . 
toodles and assalamualaikum :)

gila

I'm Okayy ;)

Whatever means whatever .

I wish i have a time machine ! . so i can go back through time and be happy . but what can i do ;(

done

i have my own ways to settle down myself .

so this is how it has to be now .

im getting use to it .

im just being myself .

all i need is laugh , happiness and joy .

 ahmad shakir , be patient .

you'll be happy like you used to soon ;)

yeah

well, yeahh i guess im done with everything . 

dah tayah nak pikir apa apa lagi .

end of story.

;')

weeeee :D

heyy you know , im starting to feel better now ;)
idk knw why , but i just feel that kind of way . i guess i just need some time . 
a lil bit of you makes me all me :D
weeeee !  , i like to crap alot . trust me . hahaha
bye for now ! 

Im happyyyyy wehh !
suka suka suka

cold

things had been cold to me too . its been so hard to me to get things on actuall track but it seems i cant . i failed . i give up tooo early . im sorry .

we do were having fun , i admit it . i was very happy . but things doesnt last that long . i just dont know why . it got me straight to my heart . i was sad .

i lose something that was big and part of me . which i care so much . idk i will be okay or not but im sure i'll try my best to be .

well yeah , idk what is happening but i think its for my own good too .

i cant think straight and clearly . all i can think is sweet memories and bad ones . well bad ones got me everytime . somehow i need to learn something but idk what .

yeah thats all . im tired to think about this and i dont want to be miserable anymore .

its disturbing and sometimes pain . haiyoyoyo.

CHOY ! *bak kate byzura .

ORGHHHHHH *bak kate jabbar

BARPAK KAW *bak kate momo

WEHHH *bak kate aan

haha ade ade je diorang.  well nak siapsiap maw pigi openhouse !

wow !

You're my Honeybunch, Sugarplum
Pumpy-umpy-umpkin, You're my Sweetie Pie
You're my Cuppycake, Gumdrop
Snoogums-Boogums, You're the Apple of my Eye
And I love you so and I want you to know
That I'll always be right here
And I love to sing sweet songs to you
Because you are so dear


haha , how cute and sweet kan ?  ;) 
u know , a friend of mine gave this to me .
im so happyyyy !
heee time kasih time kasih . i'll never ever gonna forget you .
XOXO

haih

now adays i feel so fucking miserable . i dont know why but i guess i just miss the way my life run like it used to be. that way i feel more alive and undead . happier and cheerfull .well menyesal skarang tak guna jugak kan . ahmad shakir , fuck you hard dude !

promises.

i promises her not to leave her , instead i decided to be her friend . but now im here , she's the one who leave me . i thought being a friend is the alternative way to not leave her and to stay in touch , but i was wrong . idk why idk why and idk why . tapelah kalau u nak buat macam ni , i tahu kenapa and its only me to know about it . its okay . i hope u'll be fine okay.

u see the clock down there . its says i love you nad . u know , im keeping it . im not gonna change it and i have my reasons .

take care

hey

haih what im feeling now is total sadness and lonelyness . im freaking hate this feelings .but i know this is the best for myself right now . Im not sure about it but its okay i'll be fine . atleast i still got my brothers and sisters than can make me happy . i guess im missing you already . dont cry okay ,everything is gonna be alright .

Final Words .

hey , i think i've made my decision and im pretty sure about it . althou some part of my heart says its not the right choice but i have to do this . The longer i stay , the more hurt i'll get . so its better to be this way and i wont feel any pain , i guess . i've think clearly about it and dont worry okay i'll be fine , trust me ;') . we still gonna be friends like we used to and im keeping my promises that i wont leave you . i'll be your friend and we still can share some laughs and jokes together . haha and yes , i admit it . i do miss ur crap and those silly jokes that used to make me laugh like hell . The sweet memories that happened between us , i will always keep in my heart . im sure u'll be fine , hey you kan kuat :) . i tahu u kuat , u always figure things out on your own . so chillax nobody is gonna take your happiness away. there's people around you that loves and care so much about you including me . The hardest part of all is to let you go and i can promise you that you will always be in my mind . There is part of you that always stuck in my heart ,that is to be in love with you . I guess its better to stuck in there so i'll never forget how great you are and how beautiful your love is . I am greatful that i owned you and to have you but I guess this is the end of it . Im afraid to do so but I think im ready to take a big step of my life which is letting you go . I cant forget about you and never will . Im not doing this because i dont trust you , yes i do trust you infact im still in love with you but i feel there's something that has to be done . Im doing this because i want you to be happy and to smile again like the way you used to . Im sorry and im trully sorry if i hurted you so bad . I didn't meant to do that , its just my feelings that show you how much i want you to be mine. Im sorry that i have to do all this . i really do . I think its not with me where you belong . its him where you supposed to be with . Its not about jealousy thingy , my jealousy part is done. Dont worry my jealousy wont come near to bother you anymore. You are free . Its fate that you belong with him . plus he is your soulmate and your first love . I just wanna that i love you sincerely syg but i have to do this:( . be happy always okay and study for your upcoming finals , jgn dok asyik tgk movie je :D . I guess i've nothing to say left , but im sure i'll write some more about this. Im taking a good sleep and im hoping tomorow will be a good day ;) . 

 goodbye love .

Je t'aime

thank you for being part of me and thank you for letting me to love you. I appreciate it alott .

it was great and beautiful .

and i guess im dancing this dance alone now but i'll always see you .  

you will always be my gewang :D
if you're reading this , text me soon . i got something to tell .

assalamualaikum .

16 march 2010
this is when my heart pumps quickly when it founds you .

I made this just for you .

I remember us,
the way we used to be,
I'd hold you in my arms,
your smile so sweet to me,

But now when I see you,
you look right through me,
I feel so alone now,
but when I close my eyes
All I see is you.

The love we used to share,
gone up in whirl winds,
will I ever love,
or ever live again,

I am tired of crying,
and I am done trying,
To remember all about you,
but when I close my eyes

All I see is you.

All the love I am sending,
the memories I won't sell,
I know there must be an ending,
to the story I will tell,

I dream only of your love,
and happiness in life,
I try not to think of you,
but when I close my eyes 

All I see is you.

I love you . . . 

actual reactions .

after everything that happened to me for the past 3 or 4 days . i feel so much better now . i feel kinda alive and kinda undead . things had running through my mind and that makes me thinking alot and it makes me feel sick too . damn u sickness ! . anyway i hate to say this but i cant lie to myself cuz its gonna hurt me more later . i DO still have feelings for her . of course laa kan , she meant so much to me. but i wish everythings back to normal , like we used too . it felt so much fun that way .and yet i cant do anything about it cuz its fate , and all i can do is to accept it willingly and realize that this is life. u need to be strong to keep living in this life. if u're weak u'll end up hating ur self later. so redhaa ajaa lahh ;D

A smile of joy arrives in me

of course nothing happened , but somehow i can smile and think clearly about it now. I guess memories does bring us smile and of course i miss that moment . haiyoo haiyoo oke lah kalo begitu . HAHAA thats some stupid indons jokes that me and my brothers watched on youtube . its was freaking funny .

And yes when im bored or nothing to do , i go through my old stuff . tgk tgk balik ape yang ade haha its fun doh . and u know i found my old name tagg when i was on standard 6 . haha lame kan , yes i know . 

i go trough my songs library and yes i found my old time favorite song which is an emo song but hell i like it :D

its silverstein - my heroine . i try to to search on youtube for acoustic version and hell yeah i found it . it was nice and i cant stop listen to it . hahahaha 

now is september , and october is next month . i cant wait to get me self a brand new guitar :) . my old ones dah rosak . maen pon dah tak bunyi mcm guitar . haha 

dah laa kene tunggu smpai bulan 10 , bapak lame lagi . ni semua salah aan dgn aziq laa ni . pundek macaohai !  

hha i guess that's all what i want to say . sakit perut dok buat sit ups je . tapi tak turun turun pon . hahaha callo betteh asta lavista babeh :D

Je t'aime 

myself

I feel sick , so tired , my body feels weak , my head dizzzy  and i cant go out cuz tak laratt :( 
sumpah rase mcm tak betol ow badan . haiyoooo ! 
damn laa weyh .
rase mcm nak demam pon ade .
aih , im out !

cold floor .

Today is the day that me myself felt miserable dissapointed crackhead clueless dizzy and sumting goes with crazy mind stuff . i feel so shitty right now . i cant even think clearly oh . i guess i just need sum laugh , more of joyness , a lil bit of crazy act and sum lame stuff to keep me stay as usual as i am . My brothers and family are always needed . Abengoh and Abechik thank you . Thank you for being there when i need you guys . Till death can seperate us . I cant believe that this is happening to me . I mean i didnt do anything wrong .Im just being human with all that feelings inside me but then what can i even do , things just happened so quickly . I cant recap anything . Im so confused .

I may not always be perfect , but I'll always try . 

so yeah .

I'm trying to get sum sleep which is i haven't sleep yet since yesterday evening . I cant sleep , my mind can't stop thinking , my heart are confused , my stomach are growling , my hand hurts , my legs are aching and I'm sitting in the corner in my room looking at my bed with my laptop on the floor beside me .

well , i guess my bed are calling me now . I feel much tired . 

so goodmorning to all and goodnight to me .
I'm pretty sure I'm gonna have a long sleep . I don't know when I'm gonna wake up but I hope not too soon because I can't face reality , dreams could be more better than this . 
Assalamualaikum warahmatullah .

sayonara , Je t'aime